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Donaghue never gives out numbers and avoids the language that “healthy couples have a lot of sex,” as it breeds the wrong ideas.
“Too much paranoia shifts what the true purpose of sex is…
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I have to agree; people discussing their erotic desires publicly and plainly sounds about as alien as my cat swimming through air. He’s a doctor of clinical sexology, a certified sex therapist, a TENGA brand ambassador, the author of and the co-host of the podcast Loveline with Amber Rose. Donaghue have more in common than their sentence-long titles.
Johnson is a certified sexological bodyworker, somatic experiencing practitioner, doula and post-partum women’s health specialist, but I’m mostly concerned with her self-appointed title: “the vaginapractor.” As in, “Brb, I have to call the vaginapractor,” a phrase I had the opportunity to use in earnest last week. They both help their clients, often couples, reshape and reclaim their sex lives in a culture they both described as being in need of “dismantling.”It seems like expectations around sex are at a tangled all-time high — it should be good and frequent, but exciting and varied — and the topic of how much sex people are having has become something of a litmus tests for satisfaction in monogamy.
“We live in such a quantitative society, where our standards around sex are so impoverished that people only know how to talk about sex in terms of how much they’re having.” The pressure to have a certain amount adds undue stress, Johnson explains, and just as it’s harder to pee when someone’s watching, it’s harder to enjoy sex when it’s a box to check.
“That’s not how the hormone system works, nor how our nervous system works.”With his clients, Dr.
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First and foremost, Johnson says the way we talk about sex is far too narrow: “I recommend expanding the definition of what sex is beyond penetration, which is so heteronormative.” Sex isn’t just one behavior, nor is it just about “finishing.” She explains that when people over-index on the pursuit of orgasm, particularly the male one, they emphasize the finish line instead of the playful exploration that precedes it.act, more of a tool.